The topic comes up on talk shows, on the radio and on other blogs. People are creating “Life Lists” that is, things to get done before you die.
While I don’t see any harm in having a life list, know that I will never create one for myself. I don’t like to have “pending” things, I like my plate clean. That Franklin Covey store gives me a rash. I work hard to get the job done right away. I have come to the realization that if I have a Life List, it will only torture me.
Therefore, for your reading enjoyment, I have created the “Luggage List of Things That I Will Never Do”. Never say never? That’s a bunch of crap. Here we go:
10. Pierce myself somewhere other than my ears.
9. Bungee jump, base jump, sky dive.
8. Ski or snowboard
7. Operate heavy machinery
6. Have a baby without knowing who the father is
5. Rob a bank or otherwise knowingly break the law
4. Read a book deemed “classic”
3. Write or say the words, “I am blessed”, “You are blessed” or “Bless you”
2. Eat at a ‘potluck’
1. Knowingly join an organized religion.
I'll try to keep this brief:
10. I am sad that I pierced my ears. Clip on is the way to go. Furthermore, I am sad that I pierced my ears 6 times. I can appreciate nose piercings in certain cultures…but if we are having a conversation, I won’t be able to stop staring at your piercing.
9. Did you see the footage of the guy who fell 5000 feet all over the news last night? I rest my case.
8. I have a strict policy against being cold and wet and cold. I would like to try that hiking with tennis rackets on your shoes one day...
7. Why would I operate heavy machinery? Aside from some future landscaping, I can’t see anything other than a ‘bobcat’ crossing my path; Mr. Luggage can happily have it.
6. Poor Anna Nicole…
5. I am a law abiding citizen. The guilt of committing said crime would kill me.
4. I don’t like reading books.
3. This creeps me out. Honestly, why do people do this? Aside from an occasional sneeze, why do we all of a sudden have to tell everyone to ‘have a blessed day’? I can tell you one other thing for sure, when I win a big award, I am not going to thank God, Allah or my Savior.
2. I don’t care if you have a popular show on Food TV…I will not eat at your potluck. People do strange things with their food (and their hands) and I cannot participate without loosing my mind.
1. I say ‘knowingly’ because I think those Scientologists are sneaky.
I am taking the opportunity today to liven up the ol' blog and add some more of my favorite card designs. I especially enjoy the new thumbnail feature on the right! Thank you for stopping by!
Unknown heart image heat embossed with Ranger Distress EP in Tattered Rose. Justjohanna scroll also embossed with clear EP.
21 Bird Salute: Justjohanna bird images stamped with distress ink and cut out to fashion into the shape of a heart a la skywriting birds.
Paula Best fish image colored with prismacolor pencils. Background made by using microglaze and pigment inks.
For the card above, I used scotch tape to remove the top layer of the pattern paper. After the removal, I added the script image and then dusted with distress inks. Unknown heart image heat embossed with distress ink; finally, justjohanna bird and scooter images, heat embossed.
Splash art background made using Ranger alcohol inks and gold mixatives. Justjohanna cupcake image cut out and colored with glitter glue.
Splash art background craeted with Ranger alcohol inks. Justjohanna image heat embossed and coated in crystal lacquer.
I love that song. Every Sunday, I think about that song. Bono is a genius.
The Commander is tired today. Yesterday was great fun! I met up with Debbie and met some new pals in Escondealeo; fulfilled all of my fabric needs at Yardage City; shopped at the Cupboard and the Cottage. We made some pretty cool things at Debbie’s in the afternoon and thought up some pretty gnarley ideas for future projects. My pending project list is bursting with ideas! I am really excited about the prospects of said ideas.
You can let your dog crap freely today, I am too tired to patrol the area.
On behalf of the rule abiding citizens of Aliso Viejo, I hereby anoint myself “Commander Shit”.
Hey YOU! Woman with the purple shirt and black slacks…you who rushed home from work last night to walk your two tan medium sized dogs in front of the elementary school at 5:15pm. Yes, YOU. I know what you did. You walked your dogs out of your gate, let them crap, and did not pick it up!
You saw me. I was coming up fast behind you…your dogs turned in horror because they knew you were about to get caught. I am going to get you. You had to pull them up out of shit stance to hurry it along.
For some reason, idiots in Aliso Viejo feel that they do not need to be responsible pet owners and the vast majority of them do not pick up their dog’s shit. The sidewalks are loaded with crap. You cannot walk 15 feet without having to hold your nose or avoid stepping in poop. Furthermore, the people I am supposed to act neighborly with feel so superior to others, that they walk outside of their gated communities, let their rancid animals do the deed and then walk back inside to avoid the Commander.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what you’re doing. I see you empty handed; no blue bags. I know you avoid eye contact with the Commander because you know YOU ARE WRONG. Well, rest assured, you’re going to hell.
From Google: As rainwater hits the ground and runs off, it can collect and wash pet waste (and any other pollutant) into our local creeks, rivers, and lakes. The very lake that your pet’s waste is washed into may also be where you and your friends and family like to swim or fish or ski or where we are drawing our drinking water. Potentially dangerous bacteria in pet waste, such as fecal coliform, is not just a threat to people but also wildlife. In addition, pet waste is high in nutrients, which cause high algae growth. This results in cloudy, colored water and can cause drinking water to smell bad and taste funny.
Next time you’re out violating the law, don’t pay attention to the lady sitting on the lawn chair. That will be me, The Commander; and I will promptly be calling the police to report your sorry, lazy ass.
I am moving towards never speaking outloud again.
I do the majority of my shopping on line. I used to do all of my grocery shopping online too, but my Vons was just remodeled into “Super Vons” and it really is breathtaking. (I have to go in there whether I need groceries or not.) Pizza ordering: online, clothes shopping: online. Speaking to Mr. Luggage: you guessed it- a lot of emails. Little Miss Carry-On does not use email yet, but I am sure when she is old enough; you get the idea.
I hardly call anyone regularly to shoot the breeze anymore. We email. I hardly refer to my cook books without looking online for recipes first. What does the future hold?
I am happy this way. I feel jittery when the lap top is not up and running in the kitchen. I need it there like an alcoholic needs a morning cocktail. Wireless, I guess it’s the work of the devil. No longer do we need to go to the “computer room” to sit down and check email or balance the checkbook. The network is always at our fingertips.
Maybe I would have been more comfortable using hieroglyphics in a cave or pyramid somewhere… maybe I was in a cave or pyramid in a past life. I am having a lot of trouble attaching ‘sentiments’ to my cards as well. It seems that the majority of things I am making fall into the “general note card” category.
Could you live without email?
Super Bowl was a blast yesterday! Thank you to all of the usual suspects and the new friends that stopped by for the fun!
My favorite part was the half-time show; I made it out of the kitchen for most of it.
For many of you, the best part was the ‘beer pool’. Here is a recap of the top three brews:
Third Place: Heineken and Stone Pale Ale (tie)
Second Place: Weizen Ale
First Place: Kirin Ichiban
And…the beer you do not want to buy for your birthday party, work party or christening? In last place by far: Brother Thelonious (Sorry Steve-O.)
See you all for Super Bowl XLII
Only because the Chargers are not playing.
There is a buzz this morning at Luggage Manor as we prepare for our annual Super Bowl extravaganza. Mr. Luggage has been tediously carving out a large foam core ‘D’ and a foam core ‘fence’ for added atmosphere this year and I am pleased to announce the debut of a new attraction: The Beer Pool..JPG)
All guests have been informed that they have the opportunity to win $50 if they bring the winning brew! Here’s how it works: Guests bring in one 6 pack or 2 large craft beer bottles to the party in brown paper bags. I will record and place all entries into the official Price Waterhouse Coopers cooler. To start, we will serve shot sized portions of each beer and the guests will vote for their favorite. It is that easy! Why is this plan genius? Well, for one, I invented it. Second, the house will be full of great beer as everyone desires the prize. Third, we save money because I normally buy all the beer tasting beers myself for the tune of $250-$300. Win all around! What if two of the same beer make it into the pool? No problem. I suspect with the amount of drinking that will be taking place hardly anyone will notice.
Here are some of the other menu items I am preparing for tomorrow:
Roast Beef/ Black Forest Ham deli Sandwiches
Return of the ‘Touchdown Nacho Station’ including my famous bean dip and “THE CHIPS”
Carmela Soprano’s Stuffed Cremini Mushrooms
Cilantro Potato Salad
Lil’ Smokies wrapped in blankets (party favorite)
Mexican Won Tons
Seafood Dip
Chicken Teriyaki Skewers
Billy’s Vanilla Cupcakes with Caramel frosting
Peanut Buttery Fudge Brownies
Ricotta Puffs
Wear stretch pants!
PS- yesterday’s double post was in reference to the classic Bill Murray film, Groundhog Day. Don't email me asking me for these recipes; you can find them online.
I will probably end up in therapy one day. (Probably?) There are many questions that I need answered. There are many situations that are slowly resurfacing as I “mature”. (I’ll never mature…I will always poke you in the ass if you bend over in front of me, and I will always laugh at a fart joke. But you know what I mean.)
One of the things that has been bothering me lately is that I feel an overwhelming sense to be original. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a job; maybe it’s because for once the right side of my brain is being stimulated. Maybe it’s because in Orange County, everyone looks the same (they all have the same surgeon). Maybe it’s because of my mother. (Haha…I know she reads this. Gotcha!)
Every idea I have is taken. This morning, I was driving in the car and thinking about what literary masterpiece I should include in my blog this evening. A-ha! I will talk about finding the Virgin Mary in my food. Everyone seems to find her, except me. Then, like some sort of signal, the radio announcer says, “While you’re looking for the Virgin Mary in your soup…” Are you kidding me?
I thought I had an original idea to quilt a card. The Stamp Shack users know that I have been mentioning this off and on. I even posted an attempt (shown below). My conclusion was that I will try this with silks and satin one day. Paper doesn’t “tuft” well. Would you believe that I received my first valentine in the mail today? You guessed it. Quilted. Just like Coco would make. (Thank you, Bigbadmike! It’s awesome!)
‘The Land of Lost Luggage’ was not the first name of this blog. For approximately 12 hours, the blog was entitled, 'The Island of Lost Luggage'. Brilliant, right? No go. I found a freaking book of poetry with the same title.
So, what the deal-e-oh? Nothing is original. If you think you are original, tell me your idea. I will find it in its blissful existance online. What do I make of all this? Nothing. I still feel like I don’t want to be like everyone else.
Pull my finger.
I will probably end up in therapy one day. (Probably?) There are many questions that I need answered. There are many situations that are slowly resurfacing as I “mature”. (I’ll never mature…I will always poke you in the ass if you bend over in front of me, and I will always laugh at a fart joke. But you know what I mean.)
One of the things that has been bothering me lately is that I feel an overwhelming sense to be original. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a job; maybe it’s because for once the right side of my brain is being stimulated. Maybe it’s because in Orange County, everyone looks the same (they all have the same surgeon). Maybe it’s because of my mother. (Haha…I know she reads this. Gotcha!)
Every idea I have is taken. This morning, I was driving in the car and thinking about what literary masterpiece I should include in my blog this evening. A-ha! I will talk about finding the Virgin Mary in my food. Everyone seems to find her, except me. Then, like some sort of signal, the radio announcer says, “While you’re looking for the Virgin Mary in your soup…” Are you kidding me?I thought I had an original idea to quilt a card. The Stamp Shack users know that I have been mentioning this off and on. I even posted an attempt (shown below). My conclusion was that I will try this with silks and satin one day. Paper doesn’t “tuft” well. Would you believe that I received my first valentine in the mail today? You guessed it. Quilted. Just like Coco would make. (Thank you, Bigbadmike! It’s awesome!)
‘The Land of Lost Luggage’ was not the first name of this blog. For approximately 12 hours, the blog was entitled, 'The Island of Lost Luggage'. Brilliant, right? No go. I found a freaking book of poetry with the same title.
So, what the deal-e-oh? Nothing is original. If you think you are original, tell me your idea. I will find it in its blissful existance online. What do I make of all this? Nothing. I still feel like I don’t want to be like everyone else.
Pull my finger.
