Thursday, February 8, 2007

Dog Shit PSA

On behalf of the rule abiding citizens of Aliso Viejo, I hereby anoint myself “Commander Shit”.

Hey YOU! Woman with the purple shirt and black slacks…you who rushed home from work last night to walk your two tan medium sized dogs in front of the elementary school at 5:15pm. Yes, YOU. I know what you did. You walked your dogs out of your gate, let them crap, and did not pick it up!

You saw me. I was coming up fast behind you…your dogs turned in horror because they knew you were about to get caught. I am going to get you. You had to pull them up out of shit stance to hurry it along.

For some reason, idiots in Aliso Viejo feel that they do not need to be responsible pet owners and the vast majority of them do not pick up their dog’s shit. The sidewalks are loaded with crap. You cannot walk 15 feet without having to hold your nose or avoid stepping in poop. Furthermore, the people I am supposed to act neighborly with feel so superior to others, that they walk outside of their gated communities, let their rancid animals do the deed and then walk back inside to avoid the Commander.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what you’re doing. I see you empty handed; no blue bags. I know you avoid eye contact with the Commander because you know YOU ARE WRONG. Well, rest assured, you’re going to hell.

From Google: As rainwater hits the ground and runs off, it can collect and wash pet waste (and any other pollutant) into our local creeks, rivers, and lakes. The very lake that your pet’s waste is washed into may also be where you and your friends and family like to swim or fish or ski or where we are drawing our drinking water. Potentially dangerous bacteria in pet waste, such as fecal coliform, is not just a threat to people but also wildlife. In addition, pet waste is high in nutrients, which cause high algae growth. This results in cloudy, colored water and can cause drinking water to smell bad and taste funny.

Next time you’re out violating the law, don’t pay attention to the lady sitting on the lawn chair. That will be me, The Commander; and I will promptly be calling the police to report your sorry, lazy ass.

3 comments:

Debbie said...

Hail to the Commander! Get them. Write down their names. Take their pictures and report them to the authorities. If you don't, there will be mayhem in the 'hood. Pretty soon we'll know Aliso Viejo from the freeways by the smell of dog shit.

shuggy said...

this post is why i come here to visit often!!

big kiss!

Lauren Ferguson-Nwachukwu said...

I love it!!!

Shit patrol. Shit Watch. Shit Shift Master.

You go girl!! Give 'em hell.

until we meet again,