The topic comes up on talk shows, on the radio and on other blogs. People are creating “Life Lists” that is, things to get done before you die.
While I don’t see any harm in having a life list, know that I will never create one for myself. I don’t like to have “pending” things, I like my plate clean. That Franklin Covey store gives me a rash. I work hard to get the job done right away. I have come to the realization that if I have a Life List, it will only torture me.
Therefore, for your reading enjoyment, I have created the “Luggage List of Things That I Will Never Do”. Never say never? That’s a bunch of crap. Here we go:
10. Pierce myself somewhere other than my ears.
9. Bungee jump, base jump, sky dive.
8. Ski or snowboard
7. Operate heavy machinery
6. Have a baby without knowing who the father is
5. Rob a bank or otherwise knowingly break the law
4. Read a book deemed “classic”
3. Write or say the words, “I am blessed”, “You are blessed” or “Bless you”
2. Eat at a ‘potluck’
1. Knowingly join an organized religion.
I'll try to keep this brief:
10. I am sad that I pierced my ears. Clip on is the way to go. Furthermore, I am sad that I pierced my ears 6 times. I can appreciate nose piercings in certain cultures…but if we are having a conversation, I won’t be able to stop staring at your piercing.
9. Did you see the footage of the guy who fell 5000 feet all over the news last night? I rest my case.
8. I have a strict policy against being cold and wet and cold. I would like to try that hiking with tennis rackets on your shoes one day...
7. Why would I operate heavy machinery? Aside from some future landscaping, I can’t see anything other than a ‘bobcat’ crossing my path; Mr. Luggage can happily have it.
6. Poor Anna Nicole…
5. I am a law abiding citizen. The guilt of committing said crime would kill me.
4. I don’t like reading books.
3. This creeps me out. Honestly, why do people do this? Aside from an occasional sneeze, why do we all of a sudden have to tell everyone to ‘have a blessed day’? I can tell you one other thing for sure, when I win a big award, I am not going to thank God, Allah or my Savior.
2. I don’t care if you have a popular show on Food TV…I will not eat at your potluck. People do strange things with their food (and their hands) and I cannot participate without loosing my mind.
1. I say ‘knowingly’ because I think those Scientologists are sneaky.